Room Scene notes

Changes for today include solving my nagging issues with the intro scene. During thesis review two weeks ago, it was suggested to cut down the length of the room scene as the pacing is too slow. Part of that is the music and part of that is me giving myself time to figure out how to set the scene.

I am getting rid of the shot with the fourth wall and instead going to use the “check in” screen to show MX-93 under constant surveillance. A great note during presentation was that the “check-in” felt like he was arriving at work. I should add: Welcome Home MX-93. Today you worked 16.1803399 hours. Your commute lasted 3.14159265 minutes. You have been checked in at HOME. Lights out in 36.6667 min

Then a CU on the creepy camera eye that scans him. The second time we see the screen should have a creepy corporate logo on it. I will need to do some motion graphics development to get a look for this. It’s a great opportunity to incorporate all the visual references from social networking, transnational corporations, IMF, world bank, all rolled into one authoritarian nightmare nanny state.

Animatic – v6

The major change for this version is the inciting incident, from a briefcase of sand to a briefcase of water. It makes more sense for MX-93′s circuitry to go haywire from water rather than from sand, although the sand ties into the last scene for the narrative loop. But water has richer symbolic properties: baptism, renewal, rebirth, purification, genesis, and works as foreshadow of the Heaven scene.

Things I still want to address: the Heaven scene dialogue, a beat of relief after he arrives in Heaven (before the dialogue), more interaction between MX-93 and the skeleton birds, the CU of the briefcase in room  (flashback edits), a CU as he picks up briefcase in sand (slo mo), a CU on his face before he steps through the door.

Thesis Animatic v5

The latest animatic…