Changes for today include solving my nagging issues with the intro scene. During thesis review two weeks ago, it was suggested to cut down the length of the room scene as the pacing is too slow. Part of that is the music and part of that is me giving myself time to figure out how to set the scene.
I am getting rid of the shot with the fourth wall and instead going to use the “check in” screen to show MX-93 under constant surveillance. A great note during presentation was that the “check-in” felt like he was arriving at work. I should add: Welcome Home MX-93. Today you worked 16.1803399 hours. Your commute lasted 3.14159265 minutes. You have been checked in at HOME. Lights out in 36.6667 min
Then a CU on the creepy camera eye that scans him. The second time we see the screen should have a creepy corporate logo on it. I will need to do some motion graphics development to get a look for this.
The major change for this version is the inciting incident, from a briefcase of sand to a briefcase of water. It makes more sense for MX-93’s circuitry to go haywire from water rather than from sand, although the sand ties into the last scene for the narrative loop. But water has richer symbolic properties: baptism, renewal, rebirth, purification, genesis, and works as foreshadow of the Heaven scene.
Things I still want to address: the Heaven scene dialogue, a beat of relief after he arrives in Heaven (before the dialogue), more interaction between MX-93 and the skeleton birds, the CU of the briefcase in room (flashback edits), a CU as he picks up briefcase in sand (slo mo), a CU on his face before he steps through the door.
This animatic is still working with the thumbnails and trying to nail down the actual sequence of events. I am pretty happy with the sequence and think it will loop into itself nicely. This coming week I’ll flesh out the thumbnails with more detail and value tone.
These are some initial concept boards from Fall 2010 I created to lay out the different scenes I wanted to do. The framework has since changed and the opening and closing scenes are different. However these represent the emotional and tonal shifts I want to express over the course of the film.